hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's shark week go big or go home
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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