Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
