What a fucking waste of an outfit
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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