just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
