So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
