what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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