Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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