Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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