Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
