bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
