and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
