is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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