Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
