so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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