went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
