community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
