there was a trapeze. enough said
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i came on her dog
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
