everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
