Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
