i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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