Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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