that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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