So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
