I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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