You really coming over, don't trick.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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