My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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