i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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