I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
