Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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