Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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