No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
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I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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