I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
