too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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