I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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