she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
