everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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