I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
