tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
