This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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