Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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