shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
