is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
