I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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