Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
