U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
