My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
