the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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