I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was born a porn star she said
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
