Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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