The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
