I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
