I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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