I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize