was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
