I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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