that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
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I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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