We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it's like iHOP with fire
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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