Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
