i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
