I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
